Forgotten Memories
by TeddyRemusPotter
Summary: His brother was gone. Maybe he had been for years. [The Black Brothers Untold Story]


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter Universe. ****O****r Regulus Black. Or Sirius Black. Or any one mentioned here. These are all J. 's creations. I only like to add my touch.**

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Regulus' very first memory was his brother.

It was blurry, like most early memories are, but the one thing that stood out was that he was happy; they were happy. The surroundings were dark, but this was familiar to them. This was home to them. However, he never payed attention to where he was, only the things that happened in that captured moment. Regulus could feel a large grin on his face and he could see his elder brother throwing his head back, overcome with childish giggles.

They were completely carefree in this moment.

.

"Mother -"

"Not now Regulus," Walburga snapped, turning annoyed dark eyes upon her youngest son. "I am busy. Go find your brother."

"But, mother -" he tried again.

"I said not now." The words were harsher than before, making him snap his mouth shut. Regulus knew better than to disobey his parents demands.

He stood still watching his mother sorting through a few paperclips, completely uninteresting to him but they seemed to have his mother's undivided attention. Regulus wondered if he'd be that busy when he was older, even if the task looked easy enough.

Why would anyone want to keep at news articles anyway? What would be so important?

Sirius stood in the doorway only minutes later, eyes flickering between his six-year-old brother and their mother. Walburga glanced up at the Black Heir, smiling softly at him. Sirius returned the affectionate gesture with a barely noticable tilt of the chin, standing up a little straighter.

"Come here Regulus." the seven-year-old ordered gently, holding out a hand to his younger brother. "I'll teach you instead. Mother is busy at the moment."

"Go on." Walburga encouraged without looking at him, nodding her head towards her eldest child. "Listen to your brother, he will never lead you wrong."

.

Sirius was the first-born, the Heir; he was the child that their parents loved the most.

And, honestly, Regulus was okay with that.

It was all he'd ever known. He'd been born after his brother, after all. Sirius had already established his place in the family before Regulus had a chance to take a breath in the world.

But, it didn't matter because it was Sirius.

It was his elder brother, his role model; his idol.

Regulus wanted to be just like Sirius when he grew up and he knew his parents wanted the same thing, they'd love for him to turn out like their eldest, the golden child of the family. Sirius knew their belief and he stuck to them, it was the way they'd been raised, of course he would believe his parent's tales about mudbloods and blood-traitors that didn't deserve a place upon the tapestry of the Noble and Ancient House of Black. Why wouldn't he?

Regulus believe all these tales too, having been raised that same way.

Years later, he wondered, if he had believed his parents in those early days. Or had he believed Sirius? The young boy who was only parroting what he'd been taught since birth.

.

This all changed on 1st September 1971.

.

The shouting hadn't stopped, even if it had gone on for over an hour. Regulus sat on the floor, leaning against the wall beside his bedroom door. He had woken up the morning after his brother had been sent to Hogwarts to hear his parents yelling, even heard a few smashes downstairs. He hadn't dared to leave his room, he valued his life too much.

Unlike Sirius, apparently.

"THAT FILTHY LITTLE BLOOD-TRAITOR!" Walburga yelled at the top of her lungs, making Regulus wince.

It wasn't hard to guess what had happened.

He knew, in that moment, nothing would ever be the same.

.

More than once - nearly every day - Regulus wished they could go back, rewind the clock.

His parents had started shouting the moment they read that first Hogwarts letter from their 'pride and joy'. They'd started shouting, and in the years to come, they never stopped.

Sirius strived to highlight the difference between them that he would have once been ashamed to acknowledge. The once upon time proud Black heir spat on the family bloodline, cursing them up and down. Regulus was sure he'd heard every insult invented.

From Sirius and their parents.

The young boy that had once told Regulus that mudbloods didn't belong in their society would now look at him in disgust if he'd mentioned a word against them. Regulus was sure that Sirius had forgotten it had been him that taught Regulus that lesson.

And, haven't his mother always told him to listen to his brother?

Well, she was sure changing her tune now.

Walburga had spoken very loudly about how Regulus would never disappoint her like Sirius had. If Regulus followed in his brother's footsteps this time, he was sure that there would be hell to pay. He's not sure his parents would be able to survive the absolute shame.

Once upon a time Sirius had been the first-born, the Heir; the one everyone loved most.

Sirius was still the first-born, still the heir. He was nowhere near loved; not anymore.

It was Regulus that took the spot of 'golden boy', their parent's pride and joy.

He wished they could go back to when all he had to do was look at his brother for guidance.

.

"Where do you think you're going?" Orion asked, leaning against the door frame, staring at Sirius.

The thirteen year old glared at the older man, crossing his arms defiantly. Regulus watched his brother and father from his seat at the table, ducking his head a little. It made him less likely to be brought into the argument though he'd found his parents seemed to enjoy bringing in his achievements as a Slytherin when they spoke to Sirius nowadays.

"Out." Sirius commented, an odd undertone that Regulus couldn't place.

Their father nodded, seemingly agreeing. It wasn't something either of them believed, both boys tensing when Orion took a step towards Sirius. There was a moment of silence before the man's hand suddenly struck out to smack his eldest son, whipping his face to the side. The ringing of flesh hitting flesh echoed between them for a moment, no one speaking a word until Orion took another step forward.

"I asked," he hissed quietly, "where do you think you're going?"

"My friend's house." Sirius spat, clenching his fists. "Problem?"

Regulus slouched further into his seat, taking his eyes away from his family members and locking them onto his plate. It didn't stop him from hearing the words spoken hatefully between the two most important men in Regulus' life.

"Which one?" Orion asked, dislike dripping from each word. "The Blood-Traitor? Or the mudbloods?"

He didn't have to see his elder brother to know that Sirius was clenching his fists. "Firstly, Remus and Peter are both half-bloods, not muggle-borns," there was a heavy emphasize on the word. "Secondly, I'll be staying at James' for the rest of the summer. I hope you don't mind."

"Why would I?" Their father asked quietly. "Blood-traitors should stick together, after all. Never know when a proper wizard might strike them dead."

The threat was clear and Regulus could feel his eyes burn with the implications. Sirius didn't seem to care. In fact, he seemed to enjoy these words, if the amused grin that Regulus saw when he took a quick glance at her elder brother was any indication. Sirius and Orion stood toe-to-toe, neither moving an inch. His father had hatred on his face, showing he meant every inch of the threat he had implied to his eldest son.

His brother's grin was sharp, daring their father to carry out that plans.

Regulus remembered when Sirius prided himself on the compliments their parents made, not the insults he seem to lived for now.

.

He watched helplessly as Sirius carelessly flung his clothes into his trunk, breathing heavily and his actions were frantic. Regulus stood still in the doorway, unable to do anything but feel his own heart-break. This was his big brother, the person that always was there for him.

"You can't leave." he whispered, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Watch me!" Sirius snarled, without looking at him, continuing to fling all his belongings into one trunk. It looked like it might burst.

Regulus stepped forward, glancing around the muggle decorated room. His mind wandered to when they'd played in this room, spent many nights whispering in the dark when Regulus crawled into his older brother's bed for comfort on stormy nights. It hadn't been muggle decorated then, of course not. It had looked like a proper Slytherin's bedroom with the green background. Regulus felt like it was a different bedroom completely. He focused back on his brother, trying to block out the childhood memories that showed they'd once been brothers - real, proper brothers. Not just people who shared the same blood in their veins.

"Sirius, please ..." he trailed off, having no idea what to say.

His brother straightened up slowly, turning to face him with steely grey eyes. Regulus knew they matched his own, they'd both gotten their eyes from their father. However, he remembered when they soften at the sight of him. Back when they'd been 'Reg' and 'Siri'.

Not Regulus and Sirius; not boys that hardly knew each other at all.

"I can't stay here." Sirius stated, his voice even. "I can't stand it here. I can't -" he broke off, shaking his head. "You don't understand Regulus, they've brainwashed you. This is who you are. It's not who I am."

"Brainwashed me?" He repeated quietly. "Does that mean that for the first eleven years of your life you were brainwashed? Remember Sirius, you are the one that told me that touching anyone that wasn't a pure-blood would drain my magic." his lips twisted into a bitter, cold smile. "You're the one that taught me all about mudbloods."

Sirius didn't like the reminder but he stayed steady. "Yes. I was." he admitted, turning away without saying anything else on the subject.

It seemed that he'd gotten everything he needed, finally packed everything away. It seemed that everything was in order, he could leave them now. Regulus felt his eyes burn but he held them back. He would not cry. Especially not in front of Sirius. The older boy seemed to sense these thoughts, for his eyes lingered on Regulus for a moment before stepping forward and pulling him into a tight embrace. It had been the first hug they'd have in years.

"Be strong Reg," His brother whispered in his ear, "be brave."

A second later he let go, stepping back and walking out of his bedroom without a single glance back, his trunk trailing behind him. Regulus didn't follow, only stood in the one spot, for god knows how long. He stayed where he was, listening to his parents and brother argue downstairs. Sirius slammed the door behind him on the way out, the loud bang making Regulus flinch.

It was nothing to do with being surprised.

.

At Hogwarts he saw his brother; or, at least, he saw someone called Sirius Black.

Regulus didn't have a brother, not anymore. His brother had been burned off the family tree, his name was taboo in their home. And, at school he saw a boy who wore his brother's features but held no _brotherhood_ or even recognition when they looked at Regulus.

His brother was gone. Maybe he had been for years.

.

_Finn._

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**Originally I was going to add things right up to Regulus' death, but I felt like I could stop here. I'm pleased with this ending. Regulus Black is a seriously underrated character and I think he has so much potential. **


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